A Pastor’s perspective

I was talking with a pastor this afternoon who sees the dichotomy between those that believe they are Entitled to the good things that our Father provides, but are put off by the trials and tribulations. They see the good things but when the crises come they can’t reconcile that a loving God would allow the challenges to come in their life, that somehow a loving Father wouldn’t allow these challenges. As a result their faith is shaken because they do not understand the tenets of scripture that include the trials and tribulations to other forces or powers, rather than accept the idea that it is the same loving God who provides for and allows both.

For the ever growing list of people I now counsel that are coming to me, through the churches that have been following along my ministry and the blog and book in development, the first issue is always “How could a loving God have allowed … (you can fill in any negative thing you would like here) I thought our Father loved us?” And the answer is always the same, that consciously our Father provides us with both the good and the bad, the times of plenty and the times of want. His goal is for us to become Christ like and that doesn’t happen by chance.

The pastor’s take, and I can see his point, is that during the hay days of great economic times believers and the churches themselves got caught up in the nature of the Good Times for so long that now that economic collapse is occurring and times are getting tougher, that the body of Christ is starting to stress out with what is happening inside the families themselves and the churches in general, that are seeing the financial problems and the effects on both. Clearly, it is driving a higher number of people my way who are stressing out because their heretofore perspective on their relationship with Christ didn’t include these challenges that are just starting to really take whole on the Christian community in general.

Believers shouldn’t be despondent nor suicidal. The issue isn’t that our Father has failed them, only that their understanding of who He is, based on scripture, is lacking.

Our Father’s protection and His allowance of trials and tribulations in our life

Many believers struggle with the notion of how perceived chaos and crisis break out in their life while having a loving Father, so they draw a distinction between the two. It is easier to say “No, my Father didn’t allow this to happen, He in fact had nothing to do with it” which disconnects the dissonance between the notion of our Father’s character, all love and caring, with the trial and tribulation. But this isn’t scriptural. Many believers find it easier to accept the notion that life is chaotic because it releases the pressure to answer the simple question of “Why did God allow this to happen?” Even though Job already answered the question in Job 2: 10 But he said to her, “Are even you going to speak as senseless women do? We accept good things from God; and should we not accept evil?” Through all this, Job said nothing sinful.

For Christians, there is nothing random, your life isn’t spent inside a Las Vegas casino where anything and everything can happen, assuming that you are seeking our Father’s will for your life. He loves you and cares for you. He also allows trials and tribulations to come to build you as a believer. Proverbs 3:5, 6. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and don’t depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do and He will direct your path. “Direct your path” doesn’t mean “I’ll just point you in a direction and watch you go” but is an intimate, day by day, hour by hour relationship I have with our Father.

The key, and this applies to all believers, is to endure the trial and let your faith build up as a result. Few Christians succumb to despondency and suicide as a result, but if that arises we must know as believers and church leaders how to respond to those times when spiritual crises erupt.

Sensitivity for despondency and suicide in the Christian family, inside the church and out

Of primary concern to all believers is the need to be aware of how the members of the body of Christ are doing when it comes to the trials and tribulations in their life and how they are dealing with them from a faith perspective. Remember, that unlike the world of nonbelievers, despondency and suicide, apart from a specific medical condition causing depression, is an issue of faith. Hope in our Father has been replaced by hopelessness, faith has been replaced by fear.

The danger ultimately of suicide occurs when the sensitivity isn’t there, where an environment of stoicism replaces the love of Christ.  While faith may always be the answer, that platitude fails when a believer finds themselves in the midst of failing a trial, failing a test, that pulls them away from our Father. When suicide appears to occur suddenly, and friends, congregants, and church leadership are shocked, this is indicative of a failure to be aware of where people are in their faith and of the crisis or crises that have enshrouded the victim’s world.

Whether for friends in a circle or the church as a congregation, there needs to be, at a minimum, a regular “pinging” of believers, to determine if someone is heading toward despondency and suicide. For church leaders, I encourage a frank discussion from the pulpit about the members’ faith walk and the need for believers who are suffering spiritually to contact the pastor through something as simple as an envelope box that is placed inside the worship center in an easy to reach location. The body of Christ must actively work to recover the lost sheep before it becomes too late, even as they sit next to you in the church pew.

Approximately 2% of the congregation will have either attempted suicide in the past or be on the road to such a choice, with despondency running at about 5% at any one time. Knowing who these suffering individuals are and getting to them before either their faith becomes completely and utterly lost or they attempt suicide is an important mission inside the church, among fellow believers.

 

Crises from our Father’s hand

An important discussion that needs to take place regards the role of tribulation in the believer’s life from a scriptural stand point. It seems as if a lot of believers have never taken the time to delve into scripture much, which to me is surprising. Many believers seem to fall into a doctrinal trap where they trust the platitudes of the church but never actually delve into the subject directly. It is no wonder that confusion reigns between what believers profess they believe and what the Bible actually says. Without actually knowing the truth as presented in the Word, you are at a disadvantage.   

As a believer in Christ, we are new creatures, the old has passed away, all things are new. We are under a new covenant, with direct contact between ourselves and our God. It is highly personal in form. Unlike Israel in the Old Testament, our contact with our Father is not through a third party. He is with us constantly and knows all about each of us. He has promised to guide us daily in our walk, leading us step by step. Proverbs 3:5, 6 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and don’t depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all that you do and He will direct your paths.”

So we’re not talking about some standoffish God just sort of keeping the world spinning about. He is right with you, always. And He is all powerful and omnipotent. So there are no limitations as to what He can do in your life.

Now, that being said, let’s begin to talk about what the Bible says regarding afflictions, trials, and tribulations.

 I want to begin with the poster child for all things Trials and Tribulations, Job.  Now for whatever reason, believers tend to want to poo poo things from the Old Testament, (except, of course, Psalms, which also describes the character of our Father) which is really funny to me.  They believe that since we are under the new covenant that the lessons in the OT don’t apply to us. Fortunately that isn’t true, because the New Testament writers relied on that history as well in providing us with truth.

In James 5:11 we see “As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about.” If the nature of our Father had somehow changed, then any sort of reference would never exist in the NT. There is a detailed description of the Job saga in an earlier post so I won’t repeat it here. The bottom line to Job, and many New Testament believers seem to struggle with this so, is that our Father allowed Job’s life to be all but taken away from him, losing all but that and his wife.

How can this be? Well it must be an Old Testament thing, pre New Covenant. Except that it isn’t, for, again, it wouldn’t be recounted by Paul as a lesson in perseverance.

The process of the trials and tribulations our Father means for us to endure is ongoing. “When we are judged by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be condemned with the world.”1 Cor 11:32. “Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness.” Hebrews 12:10 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Rev 3: 19

As I said above, since Psalms seemingly is approved by the NT church, let’s recount some of the significant scriptures regarding trials and tribulations there. The words are from David.

“You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths. Psalm 88:6 Your wrath has swept over me; your terrors have destroyed me. Psalm 88:16 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble. Psalm 90:15…because of your great wrath, for you have taken me up and thrown me aside. Psalm 102:10

When believers fall into a doctrinal trap of only choosing to talk about the love of Christ, our salvation and redemption, they have trouble in determining where tribulation comes from. We suffer with the idea of why a loving God would allow us, His chosen children, to be at times completely decimated by events that He allows to be unleashed against us. “It can’t be! God who loves me would never be responsible for these things in my life” I hear over and over.

Except that, according to scripture, He is.

Finding the lost sheep before they permanently lose their way

Let’s take a moment and sum up where we are in the dialogue.

The focus of my work and ministry, in essence, is in helping to find lost sheep. It deals with the process of how believers in crisis get onto that path and where they find themselves once that walk has begun. From simple questions about their relationship with our Father at the most innocuous beginning, to disbelief, Falling Away, despondency, and suicidal at the worst possible end, as seen from the 300+ believers I’ve counseled with including at New Hope, the Share and Care forum of the Crystal Cathedral church, and my private counseling. It is a clearly defined road, a scale of degrees, that anyone properly situated can identify.

In order to have hope in restoring individuals in crisis, one must begin by understanding the dynamics of disbelief. It is akin to understanding how to heal a broken leg. It isn’t enough to say “well it should just heal” without understanding what causes a break to occur, what has happened at the cellular level that makes a break a break, and what the process is to restore the leg to full function.

Recognizing where a believer is, be it a friend or a congregant, in their life as a Christian, and whether they are being faced with a change in conditions that can potentially put them on the road to disbelief, despair, and possible despondency leading to suicide is what this ministry is all about.

What does it mean to fail a trial, fail a test?

For the believer in Christ, failing a trial or a test occurs when one’s faith is diminished by the trial or the test, where doubts begin to creep into the mind.  When one begins to compare and contrast whatever it is that has just happened to their expectations in scripture and in their Christian life prior to this.

From my experience in Christian crisis counseling, there are two types of trials that can result in failure. Major shocks, and duration trials. Major shocks include losses of family members to death both natural, criminal, and suicide. Job losses, sudden financial collapse, and divorce represent some of the catalysts as well. Duration trials include long term health issues including pain or illness, the inability to find and maintain employment, and family circumstances that can include drug or alcohol use by a spouse or a child.

One phrase I’ve heard repeatedly is that “my world doesn’t make sense anymore. What I’ve believed hasn’t turned out to be true.” This sort of despondent thinking represents the storm clouds on the edge of the front, the deep churning of the mind of the believer in the midst of a spiritual crisis.

For anyone either with friends inside your circle, or those in church leadership such as Pastors and Deacons, being aware of those individuals in those circumstances is critical. Despondency, when it occurs, that can ultimately lead to suicidal thoughts and possible action will arise from these sorts of events.

Failing a trial, failing a test

When our Father unleashes evil against us to try our faith and make it stronger, we always have free will in how we respond, our response is not automatic. We don’t have to respond in a certain way, I do not for one believe in predestination, the notion that everything, including how we react to a situation, is preprogrammed.

When a crisis strikes, at the start most believers who have given their life to Christ will come at the issue strong, their faith supporting their mental and emotional state. Any sort of a minor trial is a good example, from being late to a meeting to getting a tooth ache. Passing these sorts of tests is straight forward, you choose to trust, you say a prayer, and the situation is resolved in a timely manner.  

Where problems arise in the Christian life, however, is when you are hit with a problem greater then you’ve ever seen. A trial so great that you do not know how to respond to it. Where even as you attempt to stand on your belief that Things Will Work Out, they don’t. You attempt to respond with scripture and past events where you have been carried through the dire circumstances but the gap is too big, the degree of faith required too large. And suddenly you find yourself on the side of the road, wondering what has happened.

You see, even in our Father’s most delicate plans for each of us, so carefully laid out, He has His purposes for you in mind constantly.  We however, are human. And when we fail at one of His tests the results can be so destructive that we can risk losing our very soul. It is not our Father’s intention that anyone is lost, but we have within us, the freedom to respond in a multitude of ways. We can be lost forever…

Why some Christians consider suicide

As you can imagine, this is the question I am most asked by fellow believers. What drives some Christians to consider the ultimate and final act?  You maybe surprised as to the causes, because added to the reasons why nonbelievers consider and commit suicide, Christians have a third element.

In the world, people without our Father find themselves buffeted by cross currents from two main directions. Life comes at them from every direction and without a sense of true north there is no moral compass. Human relativism and mixed choices breed a hostile environment, with a sense of emptiness driven by lack of meaning. When events overwhelm nonbelievers, why hold on in the worst moments because life is meaningless?

A second reason that brings on suicidal thoughts is pathological, an illness within the brain that causes thoughts of desperation. A wide variety of drug therapies, coupled with counseling is a one two punch that is supported in the literature of suicide prevention. Sometimes, and the literature is bearing this out, the drugs that lift the spirit of the individual taking them free the individual up and generate improved thinking. Unfortunately for some, realizing that things aren’t any better situationally and that it isn’t in fact all in their mind alone, there is a heightened risk for committing the final act. This is why there is cautionary FDA language on several of these drugs to the effect of “Persons taking this medication maybe more prone to suicide as a result.”

Now with believers, there is a third element, that of a loss of faith. As Christians who accept Christ into our lives, we make the first connection through faith, helped by fellow believers within the church itself. The foundation is laid through scripture, the pulpit, and fellowship of the believers. Faith is the cornerstone for believers and I don’t think that is going to surprise anyone. No matter what is thrown at the majority of the faithful, it is that faith that crosses the chasm between the circumstances the believer is facing and his or her hope that things will work out.

For that minority though that reach the end of their rope, events occur that so overwhelm the believer that their faith becomes broken. They lose the link to our Father as the crises swirl around them, their faith slips away. Hope is replaced by hopelessness.

And when the faithless go to the church, the pastors, and their fellow parishioners with this loss of faith, the brethern respond in order “well, just have more faith!” Sort of like telling a man dying of thirst that he needs to go drink water when there is, in fact, none around him.  Faced with directions that he cannot follow, the abyss between themselves and our Father grow even larger. They feel abandoned, and the one thing they counted on in the midst of the trial and tribulation has evaporated.

Very much alone, they consider whether their faith ever was true, and step by step they find themselves edging toward the Abyss.

Copyright © 2009 by Thomas E. Kennedy

God’s will doesn’t guarantee success and may presage failure

It is no doubt that within the faith our message gets confused.

In the Old Testament, faithfulness to our Father among the leaders of Israel brought success, wealth, and prosperity, while failure to adhere to the Torah as it was defined, not focusing on the Levitical laws, brought failure. Automatically, from Genesis through the Book of Chronicles the same cause and effect are in play. But all of that changed under the Covenant of Christ, where God no longer talked to His Children through the leadership of the nation, but speaks to us on a personal level.

For us, the relationship is different and our Father’s purpose for us here is too.

For any believer diligently seeking our Father’s will for their life, the Number 1 goal for this life is that you are molded, through various trials and tribulations, into the likeness of Christ. It isn’t about prosperity, a nice shiny red Ferrari will not show up in the garage of the believer who has been molded into the likeness of Christ. Diligently written plans prayed over for any sort of venture are not Blessed for Success as we define it, but rather a means to draw us closer to our Father. Those plans are just as likely to fail as they are to succeed, at least in the way we define success.

What is important, it turns out, is that our Father defines Prosperity in a whole different way and the sooner we as believers learn that, the better. He does, in fact, provide for us, but not necessarily in ways we have any part in.

The success you will gain is in becoming more Christ like and better understanding our place in our Father’s Eternal plan.

Copyright © 2009 by Thomas E. Kennedy

Suicide in the Christian family

One of the most devastating circumstances that I regularly encounter in my work is in counseling Christians who are considering committing suicide. It is a topic that will be talked about in depth here. It is something that, within the Christian community, no one seemingly is prepared to deal with. Church leadership and the families and friends around the victim’s family shy away from the victim’s family for fear that they will be somehow affected by the “suicide virus” and end up isolating the suffering family. We will deconstruct all of this and provide answers as to how the church can successfully reorient themselves to help, not hurt, the victims and bring the light and love of Christ to a truly dark place. I’ll talk about the signs of suicidal intentions within the rhelm of behavior of the members of the Body of Christ who are indicating that they are planning on Going Home sooner then our Father intends.

It is a sad and terrible outcome when trials and tribulations overwhelm a believer and their faith.

This subject is not for the faint of heart nor faith…

Copyright © 2009 by Thomas E. Kennedy